wonders.

Everyone wonders

It's nature, it's real.

We're people;

We love, we hate,

we feel.

What's still to come?

What have I missed?

So many wonders,

they can't all fit.

We don't know what's certain,

we don't know what's false.

Imagine a life without

He who knows all.

Our wonders will come,

and won't all be solved.

But Someone hears wonders,

He's hearing them all.

Look to the future,

Remember the past.

Life is uncertain. But

heaven will last.

So, I hope I don't need to know what I want to do in college yet. Or where I want to go to college. Because I don't. I can think of a reason why NOT to do any job you throw at me. Why is that? Most people want to do so many things that they can't decide. I could never be a teacher, because I don't have the patience. I could never be a secretary, because I hate desk jobs. I could never be a doctor or nurse because... well, because I would just hate it. I don't know. Maybe I'll just hope I marry a brain surgeon. Or maybe I'll make it big time in acting.
On a personality quiz at school, I was 98% dreamer.
Maybe that's why I can't settle. Sigh. And people always say, "oh, you're sixteen. you have plenty of time to think about it." But I know better. It seemed like yesterday that I was 11 years old, setting up a neighborhood lemonade stand. Why does time have to go by so quickly? It sure does rush me.
I need to leave it up to God, because I'll fail if I try to decide on my own...
If I try to do anything on my own, actually.
-caylielane

My Clarence

Can I make an assumption, here? Everyone has seen It's A Wonderful Life. It's a classic, and everyone knows it. Well, I've been thinking about it, and to be honest, it's kind of got me locked up. You know those days when you are just sad? Sometimes with a legit reason, sometimes for no reason but sadness itself. Those days when you wish you could disappear, and you think that nobody would know the difference? Wouldn't it be great if a Clearance would slip into our lives on those days? And we could go around, observing what would have happened if we had never lived at all. When you think about it, everything we do really does count. It affects someone one way or another when you say something hurtful. A kind word or deed is more than it seems.
The thing is, we can't go back. We can't know how we have affected our loved ones, and those we don't know, to the true depth of the situation.
In conclusion, life is short. Don't let it slip away without making the most of it. Love God. Love others. Love yourself.
-caylielane.

So, today I performed as Mrs. Bradley in The Best Christmas Pageant Ever. I had an awesome time, especially considering that it was my first homeschool production. I'll add pictures soon.
Sure there were little messups, but that's what happens when you've only run the entire thing once before the performance.
Phew.
Well, I had a great time. I think it really was the best Christmas pageant ever!
...and now, I'm totally exhausted and drained. I'm a couple days behind in my schoolwork, my room is a mess, dad's in Nevada... I miss my old friends.
LOVE my new ones, but miss the old ones.
...sigh. i'm just gonna chill. and not do schoolwork.

Why do I always write in lists? Ugh.

Pros and Cons

Cons of homeschooling:
Less time with people.
Suddenly associated with the horrible "homeschooler" connotation.
Less professional productions.
Less time with old friends.
Having to keep yourself on schedule.

Pros of homeschooling:
New friends.
Time for more acting.
No uniform.
More spare time.
Less work in general.

I have no clue what I'm going to do next year. *sigh.*
OK, toodles for now.
-Caylie Lane

Road To 30.

So those Flames and I
Went on a trip
It was quite fun.
We laughed quite a bit.

Nebraska was our trip's final destination.
In the end we were placed 20th in the nation!
OK, so I lied.
We weren't really that good.
We placed 28th...
I only lie when I should.

We won just a few,
And we lost almost all.
And now all my dreams
Are about volleyball.

[stinkin' volleyball.]

I hope you enjoyed
This poem of mine.
Maybe next time,
we'll place 29!

ps. I promise- I'm actually a very positive person.

BUT..

Nebraska has the largest furniture store in America.

That counts for something, right?

What's Omaha?

Who knows the population of Nebraska?
Nobody.
Who knows how many tourists come to Nebraska each year?
Nobody.

Yet...here I am. In Nebraska.
I'm telling you. My heart belongs in New York. LA. Paris. Milan.
Not...
Nebraska.

Oh well. Hope we win our tournament.

(In Nebraska...?)
-Caylie

Loves and Hates

Things I hate:
*being sick.
*being exhausted.
*missing all the fun.
*days when nothing is on TV.
*being grouchy.

Things I love:
*not being sick.
*having energy.
*having lots of fun.
*good TV days.
*being happy.
*Jesus.

"Love is faithful, love is kind, it does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud, it is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil, but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perserveres."
1st Corinthians 13:4

Dear time...I miss you.

It's hitting me. I'm getting old.
I'm turning 16 next month.
I'm getting my drivers license soon.
I've taken the ACT for the first time.
The kids I babysit call me "ma'am".
...and worst of all-
My previously lime green walls are now beige.

Time soars.

school days here I come.

This happens every year. Every single year, towards the end of summer, I get excited about school starting. And not for the normal reason of "I want to see my friends!". No, I'm excited about taking classes. About learning, reading, and doing work. I don't know why. Towards the middle of the year, I always think back to the end of the summer and laugh. I don't know why I get so excited, but I do. Sigh.. I just can't help it. I want something to do with myself that takes some thought. I guess there's a point in everyone's life when they get sick of... not thinking.
I think I'm blabbering. To nobody. Nobody is reading this. Right? Of course. Hahaha.
Toodles for now :)
Caylie
PS. I guess I should add that part of my anticipation is most likely due to the fact that I'm homeschooling for the first time this year. But I'll be going to class two and a half times a week...

Drip

Drip.
I hear the rain.
Drip.
And it's tapping sound.
Drip.
How comforting.
Drip.
Lets lounge around.
Drip.
I feel the rain.
Drip.
In a cozy spot.
Drip.
Like background music.
Drip.
Brings lovely thoughts.
Drip.
Drip.

Rain and its Side Affects.

I already have a blog.
...So why did I make another one?
I don't know. I was feeling spontaneous, I suppose.
It's raining outside at the moment; I have a feeling that contributed to my odd mood. Rain does things to me.
-caylie